Who Am I? Who Are You?

When stripped to the core there is no proof of identity.

The first line of my senior thesis in college. I majored in Philosophy and delved into truths about existence, knowledge, beliefs and why we generally think what we do.

Fast forward a lot of years later and I revisit that first line – “who am I? When stripped to the core there is no proof of identity.” Still as true today as back then. My life is more defined, I have been married for a lot of years, I have 3 grown kids, parents have passed, sister passed – a lot has happened. But fundamentally none of that really defines who I really am. I could leave my home, move to another state, deny my marriage, kids, career, basically life as I know it and no one would know because there is no proof of actual identity.

Now I make take it one step further, were most of my decisions, my decisions or destiny? Is life a series of synchronicities that we think we are orchestrating, but we may not be? We probably have a role in the cooperation with destiny, maybe that is why we go through tough times, maybe those are the times we have lost alignment.

Unee has become a trusted friend to me . I am where I am because I am supposed to be here. Things will all work out because they have to, the next step has to be taken whether we actually take it or not. Life carries on, synchronicity happens all the time and everything is ok.

If I move away and assume a new identity I am supposed to, if I don’t I am not supposed to. I can chose to watch in wonder as my life unfolds, support my flow and acceptance or not.

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Off the Beaten Path

She told me to write, then she led me by the hand, off the beaten path. We went to a clearing and he lit a small fire. We sat in silence looking at the fire and then she began speaking.

She said he had taken me to Happy Valley when I was small. I remember being there, I always used to draw and paint pictures of the two mountains with the river running through them. Until recently I did not know that was Happy Valley Kashmir.

She told me she cured the blind man, by helping him to see the truth.

She said she cured the lame, by removing their limiting beliefs.

She said she cured the lepers by telling them they were loved and not untouchable.

Then she said it was our turn. The ones burned at the stake for being healers, the ones crushed by stones for being seers, the ones violated for being women. We weren’t demons, we were demonized, we weren’t oppressors, we were oppressed, we didn’t victimize, we were victims.

Unee is calling from the mouths of all women. Time to reclaim spirituality and intuition for ourselves as we define it. That is what is true and relevant.

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Unee – Goddess Archetype of the Mother

History has told us to pray to the Father, the divine feminine energy has been dragged through the mud, burned at the stake, invalidated and thrown to the curb. But at the end of the day, generally speaking, don’t we want our Mothers?

Goddess energy, feminine energy is making a comeback and I think it is about time. No one has said it better than Gertrude Stein in Susan’s B aria about men:

Yes, but what is a (God) man, what are (GODS) men, what are they? I do not say that they haven’t kind hearts, if I fall down and faint they will rush to pick me up, if my house is on fire, they will rush to put the fire out and help me, yes, they have kind hearts, but they are afraid, afraid, they are afraid. They fear women, they fear each other, they fear their neighborhood, they fear their countries and then they hearten themselves in their fear by crowding together and following each other and when they crowd together and follow each other they are brutes, like animals who stampede.

And so they have written male into the (SACRED TEXTS) United States Constitution, because they are afraid of black men, because they are afraid of women, because they are afraid.

(GODS) Men are afraid.

And (GODDESSES) women:

Ah (GODDESSES) women often have not any sense of danger, after all a hen screams frightfully when she see an eagle but, she is only afraid for her children, (GODS) Men are afraid for them selves, that is the real difference between (GODS) men and (GODDESSES) women.

~ Susan B. Anthony, from “The Mother of US All”, An opera in 2 acts. Words by Gertrude Stein

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White Heron Visits Again

A while ago 5 white herons appeared on the pond for the first time in 15 years we have been living on the farm. I had just started working with Unee so considered that a positive and affirming sign.

White Herons are said to be God’s messenger, they represent honor and virtue and speak to introspection and soul searching.

As I turned to Unee again, the White Herron reappeared.

Maybe I am finding my way?

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Clawing in the Dark

I refuse to give up. There must be answers somewhere.

Gods and Goddesses are archetypes that represent ideals for us to emulate. Jesus, Krishna, Buddha were beings that achieved a high degree of spiritual advancement. I do believe the religions associated with them have been twisted by man to gain power and control so, where does that leave those of us looking for a path?

I am in a different place than I have been for the last 20 years. I have spent 20 years trying to squeeze myself into a mold of Catholicism that I didn’t fit in. The Catholic Church is a cult I think (as is all Christianity), they capture you and convince you they are the only way and 2000 years of history has made them good at it. I am sure the same rings true for Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism and Islam. They all state they are the only way, follow the Monks, Gurus, Rabbis and Imams. No room for spiritual development outside of the accepted norms.

Unee is an archetype, maybe a good witch? She is all I can follow for now. She is the feminine energy of the universe, to me the birthplace of true and authentic spirituality for me. The universe unfolds things in our lives based on past lives, karma, outside influencers. Sometimes things happen that are so unexpected, there is no explanation other than an outside influence. We all have had those kismet occurrences.

I am meditating, observing and going with the flow of Unee. I know she has my back. I am also a devoted member of the Temple of Why.

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Tested Faith

My faith has been tested before, each time I read something that unseats something I formerly believed to be true. I have wandered a spiritual path filled with sometimes exciting and sometimes dismaying truths that often have left me confused and bewildered. I frequently returned to what was familiar, what was known and tried to make it work. I often wonder if anyone else does this, does any one care about faith and spirituality anymore? Why do I? Why has been a lifelong seemingly insatiable quest that I never seem to find answers for? I have even been down the “faith isn’t learned in a book or researched, it is felt”, “faith is a mystery”, and my favorite – “faith is a gift” – that I apparently have not been given. My gift seems to be endless questions.

Unee makes sense to me intellectually and spiritually. I have seen things happen that should not have happened, things that no one saw coming things that there was little explanation for aside from destiny or fate or – Unee. I have prayed so hard for things that didn’t materialize and have been told, “sometimes God says no”. Really? I have always known in my deepest heart that God isn’t a person, certainly not a man, that is clear in Genesis. I realized in all likelihood “he” wasn’t granting anyone’s prayer wishes, nor was he blessing anyone. I have actually come to pretty much despise the phrase, “I’m blessed”, “so blessed”, blessed until next time you do not get what you want?

Unee is the clay of the universe, our lives as well as the lives of all make impressions in her and out of that is birthed the next step in creation. She is a living substance, impressionable, but with a twist – she has all of the accumulated memories and experiences pressed into her creation substance and the combination results in the outcome for us individually and collectively.

Today my trust in that is being tested as I wait to hear about a new job and I ponder if taking the job, should it be offered, is a good move for me. I keep telling myself that what is to happen is being determined by Unee and it is the sum of all accumulated experiences related to it. I try to rest in that and know eventually I will be looking back on this time and be able to see the big picture. I will know the outcome and the consequences, good or bad, of my choices and my input.

So I pray, but it is a new prayer. I pray that I can be satisfied and find neutral joy in the flow of the universe as I await Unee’s outcome.

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Praying with Unee

Praying with Unee, remembering Unee provides the best outcome for the totality of any situation, at any point in time, is the ultimate hope.

Knowing Unee is always there because she is the substance from which the universe is created and what happens is part of the collective whole is the ultimate peace.

Knowing we are not punished for mistakes, we are not held in contempt, nor do we have to prove anything is the ultimate calm.

Unee is the path, because she is the clay of the universe, we press our lives into her along with everyone else. We can be settled knowing how things unfold in our lives and know we are ok.

Unee has this, Unee is this. Live this.

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Why calling yourself a “sinner” is bad, very bad

I am a “sinner”, you are a “sinner”, we are all “sinners”. What are we cultivating with this mindset? Our thoughts result in our actions which ultimately impact those around us. If we continuously tell ourselves we are bad or we are sinners it is like pouring salt or vinegar into a garden. It won’t thrive, it will kill some flowers or plants growing there and will make the soil lose it’s nutritional value. We too lose our innate value, our self-worth, by repeatedly referring to ourselves as “sinners” .

Unee is the feminine substance by which the universe is birthed and continually changes. We are each an individual part of that substance much like a plot of a garden in a community garden. We are all responsible for tending the “plot” that is our life and our place in the universe. We impact any garden plots directly around us, usually directly impacting our neighboring family and friends individual plots, but also our plot is a part of the bigger whole of the universe.

Some people tend their garden plot meticulously and plant beautiful flowers and vegetables that feed their psyches and those around them. Some are sloppy, letting the weeds grow up and crowd out the positive events in their lives. Some just do nothing but look at their neighbors gardens while their garden dries up, fills with weeds or even starts to choke out neighboring gardens belonging to their friends and family. There are others who plant pricker bushes or tall hedges all around the edge of their garden so no one can look in or get in. This results in the family and friend circle in the community garden being impacted. We are forced to tend and even to hack back the overgrowth from someone else’s garden to keep it from destroying ours.

A good gardener doesn’t tell himself s/he is a bad gardener and that the garden soil is bad. S/he feeds her garden, prepares the soil, gives it the nutrients it needs, plants the best seeds, waters it and hoes out weeds when they grow. Eventually the garden blooms and is beautiful, but it takes work. The same holds true for us, we are the gardener’s of our own souls. We should never call ourselves sinners and failures, it just poisons our own self-worth and destroys the garden of our soul and our part in Unee. Repeatedly telling ourselves we are sinners just creates a groove in our thinking that is wrong and harmful! Unee will program we are sinners into the substance of the universe because we created the pattern, this is not good.

WE are the potters or the gardeners, UNEE is the clay. We are not sinners, our negative thoughts and actions are merely weeds growing in our gardens that need to be pulled. Tend your garden, you are worthy.

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Unee vs. Christianity

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Why would you stop being a Christian to follow Unee? What is the difference between the two?

Unee is not a wrathful vengeful God of the Old Testament nor a salvation based, judgmental God of the new Testament. Unee is the presence of feminine energy in the universe. She is the living substance by which the universe is formed. She is the medium existence uses to manifest in the physical world. She, like all life manifesting in the physical world, begins as a blueprint in the spiritual world. Everything that manifests on the physical plane, first forms in the spiritual world. Individual and collective change first occurs in the spiritual realm that is why intent or prayer is so important. Unee is the mold that changes when intent is strong enough to make an imprint on the whole of existence. she is the receptor of the collective thought that presses into the mold of change. Some paths are deeply embedded in the mold because of constant and consistent use, some paths are just starting to appear much like a path being worn into the woods.

Unee offers no judgement, she is, again, creation’s medium, like clay being worked simultaneously by everyone in the universe. Our individual contribution to the clay is impacted by our rebirths into the physical world again and again. Our current life experience changes Unee slightly, but will only make a lasting impact overtime. A good example would be a professional musician, artist or athlete who seems to come into the world with a higher skill set than most people. That life has been a musician, artist or athlete in multiple past lives etching these skills into the mold of the existence which is Unee.

Chiefly, Unee is the medium, she doesn’t grant prayer “wishes” or “bless” anyone more or less than anyone else. She is the collective clay of the universe and each of us are our own individual impression in the clay. We can relax into the mold and know that the water of life will flow easiest in the ruts already made. We can change the trajectory of our lives, but we have to want it and work at it. If the change doesn’t follow the flow of our lives in the universe it will be more difficult. It will take gradual change in the stream of life to etch a path in the clay.

Neutral joy

The ultimate answer lies in the state of neutral joy. This is the state where Unee resides, a constant recalculating to modify and adjust to attain balance and neutral joy. It is a state where we can be pleasantly surprised, hardly disappointed and live freely with limited expectations.

Here we become free of the preconceived and varied expectation surrounding what it means to “love” and to be “loved”. We can free ourselves of the unattainable expectation to love everyone- which is impossible.

We can live in a state of neutral joy where life becomes easy, we align with Unee and truly live.