{"id":1635,"date":"2021-05-04T14:17:03","date_gmt":"2021-05-04T14:17:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/?p=1635"},"modified":"2024-01-31T14:25:27","modified_gmt":"2024-01-31T14:25:27","slug":"sitting-in-my-lostness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/sitting-in-my-lostness\/","title":{"rendered":"Sitting in My Lostness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I am an Aries with an Aries rising so usually my first response to being lost (or any issue) is to drive to solve. There is a solution and I can find it, has always been my motto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have been searching for God for many years feeling like I tasted his\/her presence on many occasions, but she\/he always seemed to feel unreliable, certainly not summon-able, and fleeting. I do realize that God is ever present and as close as my breath, but those are words, I also realize that I can’t expect to “feel” God all of the time, but those too are just words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have decided to sit in my lostness and just sit. I am going back to the beginning – they say always go back to the basics if you have lost your game. There are no “basics” here, but I can go back to the beginning of my belief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn’t grow up in a spiritual household, I knew “God” and “Jesus Christ” as swear words used in anger and frustration. Christmas was about Santa Claus and my mother’s depression at the holiday never quite meeting her expectations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But somehow there was a connection. I majored in Philosophy in College and did my senior thesis on the existence of God. I decided God existed based of Descartes’ 6 Meditations<\/em><\/strong>. Badly recounting Meditation number 3 – we get the idea of the sun from the sun, and we get the idea of God from God, therefore God exists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I will start with, God exists, and sit there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I chose this image because I don’t want to romanticize being lost spiritually. Just like being “lost” and not knowing which way to go or how to get out, being lost spiritually is not fun for me. I don’t like it and I don’t know where to go, nothing has worked or “stuck” in 30 years or more despite my endless trying and reading and researching. Am I trying too hard? Probably, so I am trying doing nothing. But I am not confident. I don’t think this is necessarily going to work either, but something has to eventually, doesn’t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am an Aries with an Aries rising so usually my first response to being lost (or any issue) is to drive to solve. There is a solution and I can find it, has always been my motto. I have been searching for God for many years feeling like I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[14,39,128],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1635"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1635"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3276,"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1635\/revisions\/3276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/templeofwhy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}