This weekend, Easter weekend, I went back to the Catholic Church – to sing. My daughter was singing and she asked us to join her. I would never have believed I would have gone back or that she would. We all sang for years in Church and left that awhile ago. But we went and she went because her friend asked her to sing.
It was beautiful, I did love singing in Church. I love old beautiful churches, architecturally they are stunning. The ritual, the candles, the incense, all designed to draw you in. So after I wondered, was I right to leave her? or was it a mistake? Was the Temple of Why just a diversion because I was angry with the Church, her leaders and her doctrine?
I have spent time thinking whether the Dark Catholic was resurrecting herself again. The one who stands in dark corners, saying prayers, maybe the rosary, lighting red votive candles at ruins. Was she peeking her head out again? Making me doubt what I have built at the Temple?
Then I realized, I love “sacred” spaces. You can feel the prayers in the walls, the millions of prayers recited over hundreds of years, the beauty intentionally designed into the space. The soaring ceilings, the statues, the candles all often designed by the best artists. The Sistine Chapel, Chartres, the Duomo and all the others.
So is the Dark Catholic in me emerging again? No, I concluded, the Dark Mystic is really emerging because she has always been there. I still love sacred spaces, candles, incense, ruins, but also trees, barns, groves and moss. And you will find me there in all those places lighting a votive, talking to my Guardian Angel, Soul Mother and reviving myself at the Crystal Fire.
A white heron showed up at the pond today, a rare occurrence. I know she brings a message of truth, hope and spiritual purity. I tell her I noticed and I was listening.